My mother died six years ago. That is a long time by any standard. But I still feel as lost and as confused at times like the first time I heard it.
There are new things that happen every day, new events, news I want to share with her every day. Hell, there are even times when I have nightmares. I have tried counselling, I have tried to forget. I know nothing will work. There is a gap that no one and nothing can fulfill. I have accepted it, but nothing stops me from missing her. And this is my way and my place to let the pain and the longing be. This will be raw and honest, it will make me squirm too sometimes. But this is my catharsis. This is for me and for no one else.
Why am I making this public? Because there may be others like me who may need to say it out loud. This is for anyone who has lost the love and the care of their mothers. Or anyone else they loved for that matter. This is so that I can feel and not feel at the same time.